Charts for Win/Win Guidelines

The Win/Win Guidelines

1. Take time for cooling off, if needed. Find alternative ways to express anger.

2. Using "I messages," each person states their feelings and the problem as they see it. No blaming, no name-calling, no interrupting.

3. Each person states the problem as the other person sees it.*

4. Each person states how they are responsible for the problem. *

5. Brainstorm solutions together and choose a solution that satisfies both—a Win/Win solution.

6. Affirm, forgive, or thank.

"Optional steps

Abbreviated Win/Win Guidelines

1. Cool off

2. "I message"

3. Say back

4. Take responsibility

5. Brainstorm solutions

6. Affirm, forgive, or thank

When you teach the Win/Win Guidelines, be sure to first go over the following:

Rules for using Win/Win Guidelines

  • Be respectful toward one another.
  • Listen while the other person speaks.
  • Be honest.
  • No blaming, name-calling, or interruptions.
    Work toward a solution both people are
    comfortable with.


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